Ok, before anything else I would have to give some credits to my dear friend Liz here, because she was the one who introduced me to them (and I know you might check my blog as I all the time tell you to when I write something… so here you go – you ROCK).
As I already gave Liz the credits I am not going to tell the story of how I got to know the penis soap, but rather how Liz introduced it to another friend (you totally know who you are…) Rather important to the story is that this second friend is slightly sexually frustrated (read: needs to get laid). I promise, this is really important to know before reading the rest, because it makes much more sense if you keep her sexual frustration in mind.
Liz and my other friend was hanging out on a bar, a bar which is also a bathing place, like … yes, like a beach, just that there is no sand. They were most likely drinking a beer each, no wait, Liz maybe wine. All was quiet and peaceful, sun was shining and everyone was happy.
Then, all of a sudden, a giant evil seagull decided to use our friend’s (yes, the sexually frustrated one) head as a toilet. Being already rather frustrated about the whole sex-thing, imagine how she felt (she probably felt like using the seagulls head as toilet, but that’s not part of this tale…).
Then things went more or less like this:
Friend: Fucking crap… shit like this always happen to ME. Not only do I have to search for men (read: penis, because that’s most likely what she said anyway), I also get shit on by a fucking seagull.
Liz: Don’t worry, you’ll find a man (read: Penis) any day now, I know it… you are so beautiful, and you know it!
Friend: Well, that doesn’t change the fact that I have seagull-shit all over me!
Liz: Wait, I have something that will cheer you up (lighting up in a “I have an awesome idea, you gonna love it”-expression as only she can), follow me comrade! (really, this is most likely what she said, I am NOT exaggerating)
Friend: What, but waaaait, I still have my beer…oh, no, I don’t… FUCK!!!
Liz: Fuck the beer, this is truly awesome!
Having said that Liz took our friend to the other side of the bar, just outside the toilets, where there is a soap attached to a metal piece and a sink to wash your hands.
Liz: You see, PENIS-soap!
Friend: What? Penis? I see no penis? What do you mean? OK, I will wash myself, but I don’t get it…
Liz: What do you mean you don’t get it? It’s a fucking penis-soap. Touch it, rub it, and don’t come and tell me it’s NOT a penis-soap.
Friend of course had no choice (and anyway needed to clean the shit away) but to wash herself using the lovely soap, so she did so and turned her head.
Friend: OMFG! You are right! It feels like a PENIS! I need one of THESE in MY place!!!!!!!!!
Birdshit – forgotten (what bird shit?)
Lost beer – Who gives a fuck?
New item found: Penis soap!
EVERY HOME NEEDS A PENIS SOAP, IT WILL MAKE WASHING HANDS MORE AWESOME, AND IT MIGHT EVEN TAKE YOUR SEXUAL FRUSTRATIONS AWAY…. (for a short while).
PS: I will find a place where you can order them online… promise!